“Bye dad bye see you. Have a good trip I will Vroom and off joey went he was off on a trip to the pacific island’s In the oc For a job he is someone that makes roads and railways for cars and trains. Woosh woosh woah the wind is definitely picking up kabang wow that was lightning there is probably a storm rolling in better warn the family were my phone. At that moment a big wave comes into the boat and his phone goes out the bouw of the boat. At this point his boat was pointing high in the sky and sinking. Noo ah... Where am I ugh AHHHHHH what are you standing in his face was big tall creature with big wing a long beak and i was shaped like it could swim underwater like a torpedo and fly in the air.Joey gets up and sprints to a nearby cave he hides there for a few minutes wondering how he didn't die then he realized that the bird was was shaped like it could swim underwater like a torpedo and fly in the air like a bird. Wait a minute the bird saved me, th that's crazy. Joey creeps out off the cave but it was not there then he sees a DARK GLOOMY SHADOW OVER HIM he turns around and he sees the amazing creature he takes notice of its colors and then he asks can you take me home ah what am I thinking I'm going crazy all ready he look at the bird and it nods at him wait you understand me… Yay this is what it's like to fly chomp. A big megalodon comes and ends their lives.
The End.
By Enzog.
Hi Enzo,
ReplyDeleteWhat a cool story you've written. You've used many great language features such as, onomatopoeia and similies, to engage your audience. Well done! To improve your writing, you could read it aloud to check it makes sense and add in punctuation where it is needed. Maybe someone at home could support you with this?
Look forward to reading more amazing stories,
Miss Thompson